Decoding Male Psychology
- Wordsmith
We, humans, love to prove ourselves superior to others, in terms of class, sex, creed, generations, over whatever attributes we can get. And the most popular is Men Vs Women. The most common saying since ages that “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.” But how?
If they are from different planets, one thing we all should get inside our head is that you can’t change the whole genetic composition of an alien from a different planet (Mars or Venus whatever it is) on a different planet (Earth). From this saying only, you can understand how messy it becomes when two aliens decide to stay together in another alien land (Earth)… I guess nothing goes right!
So we are here to explore that alien species which is super mysterious, speechless most of the time, you guessed that right – “Males”. Yeah because females are well known, popular about their characteristics, through numerous jokes, sarcasm, their kind is almost similar in most of the aspects whatever be their shape, size or figure. 😉
We will be seeing the actual truth about male psychology rather than the assumed truth, we will try to decode this species. And I will suggest you to empty your mind because the so-called truth you assumed till now is definitely of no use or might be a big illusion.
Females speculate, get confused, even at times get frustrated too much to find out what this species is up to? Male psychology appears as a labyrinth to them, they are clueless whether they are going to hit a Pandora’s box or a Treasure or absolutely nothing. So here I am with all genuine survey reports and verified data about how their mind works, how they think, their interests from home to vacation, likes, dislikes everything in one plate collected through certain questionnaire. One by one we will move from one platter to another having a full five-course meal relishing each dish on the plate.
So to begin with the delicious “Soup”… consists of blend of male ego & clear communication.
Male Ego…..it is a popular belief that man has a higher ego, says who, obviously Women, but on what basis? The survey suggests that it’s men most of the time, who come and apologize and streamline things after turbulence. Have you ladies ever gone ahead to make up with them? …most of you not, but why….reason might be female ego😝
They say it’s a male-dominated society, when there is only feminism everywhere, from small shops to big malls, from clothes to shoes, from household goods to decors to jewelry to everything is only and only for attracting female..males are just selling it .. 😂😝keeping their ego aside, madam try this please !😁.
Eventually, when I was collecting data about their traits, I also found that men are more straightforward too, least manipulative, at times unable to manipulate, because actually they are blessed with straight wiring in the brain. Based on my survey I found that almost 95% do not rehearse calls or hide facts with the partners. And guess because of such specific species related genetic evolution, they are considered to be poor manipulators, as they get easily caught while doing so. I think all will agree to this because I assume this happens and has happened with every one of us.
As far as communication is considered, half of the men don’t find it difficult, but the need for communication, the will to reach a cellphone, dial the number, is a major task for almost 50%. It means even if you call, the laziness still persists, don’t expect the same enthusiasm 😂.
Moving on to next that’s “Appetizers”, which comprises bland household chores, hot conversation & crispy intelligence…..
In times of pandemic, we all saw all possible avatars of this species. To be true, females have a set pattern to perform any task, but when you ask them to do, do remember you are talking to a living robot when it comes to function, they will stick to what you have fed in their software and it should be word by word, one wrong syntax, or skipped code, the whole program goes in the loop & this beauty will make you spin🙄. Being perfectionists in household chores, females expect men to be precise, trust me 55% try their best, but at the same time men believe that whatever they do, how much they achieve, in front of the big boss they all are underachievers. So they find household chores to be non-urgent and a bit uninteresting tasks, also it doesn’t help you to get a promotion or single appraisal. So girls you should try adding an incentive after every step of the task, to make it more interesting and fun.😁
This year, 2020 not only brought new species to the planet but also created a lot of new dimensions between existing species. Even before, males and females were not always streamlined there was always some sort of turbulence present when these two came together, I think quite less of us understand that they are ” Opposite” sexes, but I guess common sense is not so common isn’t? So to avoid turbulence, females have to avoid heated arguments, unnecessary debates. Almost 57.4% of males want to avoid the heat during a random conversation. If they feel it’s too often they even start avoiding conversation predicting from past experiences, which further affects the coming conversations.
If everyone remembers this common line from females, “You don’t talk nowadays, at first you were like clinging to the phone all the time with me.” What happened now? I guess now you know the answer. So check your lines carefully before getting into a conversation with them and then play your move.
Men are sharp indeed in knowing where this conversation is going but they put their innocent form forward and play it cool & which opens females so quickly, so now they know everything about you, but he is still mysterious to you even after years, So in reality “Jon Snow knows everything” it’s you who knows nothing, that’s why you are here reading it all in articles isn’t?🤪🤪
Now coming to the most uncomplicated course in our feast that is “Salad” which has simple ingredients like procrastination & focus only on what next ….!
Among various qualities, the male is excelled in one. Any guesses? Procrastination, Yeah well this is one of the most experienced characteristics of our sweet gentlemen. As per the analysis, almost 37% love to keep things lingering for the next, and the next, and the next day and it totally depends upon the urgency of the task given, 67% procrastinate based on urgency and 50% on interest.
Let me be clear that they all believe household chores are very boring, repetitive, uninteresting and at times non-urgent as well, now you know why they, the majority of them always live in haywire conditions like an earthquake just struck their den. So think twice before ordering them anything you need real quick because quickness for them applicable only to movie theaters, cricket, live shows.🙄😝
Today we hear a lot more about emotional intelligence, emotional quotient. And as it’s a ubiquitous belief that somehow females are more emotion-driven as compared to males. How many times you heard, can’t you be objective or logical or practical for once? So yeah, males are definitely the most objective species. About 65.2% think about things that are under their control, they are always more interested in finding solutions rather than discussing the mess being created by others or themselves 😂. So ladies story about who, why, how don’t interests classy male at all. They are the ones who will just say one-liner like …So what’s next?
Here comes the sumptuous ” Main course” of this feast, which will let you taste men’s recipes of likes & dislikes & indeed a lot of variety…😁
So whether it’s single ones or married or in a relationship, here we will discover very interesting things about both the sexes. The characteristics highly in demand among males or what they seek in their counterparts. So ladies to be very honest and as per survey, 72.3% males do not like or I should say hate complaining and nagging attitude, 70.2% avoid egoistic partners, & 68.1 % don’t prefer manipulative females, these are top three most disliked traits for males, they believe that if ever anyone wants a better relationship with them, you please put these three traits out of the gate, or else keep yourself out of the gate.
As said earlier about the whole neuronal synapses in males in such a way that they fail in manipulation miserably even if they work hard to do it, they still get poor grades. But as it’s a competitive world, if they can’t do that, definitely they will hate it if someone can do it effortlessly & when a girl does that smoothly, they are like totally lost, How could she be ?…. Goodness, I am not going with that girl for sure 😆😆. So if you don’t want to scare him away don’t even try to try this😂.
There are few more interesting traits of this peaceful species, one of them is…they tend to avoid “Suspicious and Sarcastic females”, sarcasm ranks higher in disliked traits….but wait a minute! aren’t males amazing in sarcasm? Totally yes! they are indeed the “kings of sarcasm”, and I assume you never missed those sarcastic humor, lines, and god that smile when you try to be smart with them. So trust me they don’t like to give you points for their specialty not now, not in the future 😂.
I said many times that our species under study is a very silent one or peaceful kind. And when it comes to talking ” You talk so much, can’t you be quiet for a few moments, can you please listen to me for a sec” these lines are commonly used for ladies. But survey opens another secret, that males always prefer a good talker, they sometimes love to be mentally stimulated, so it’s the time to improve your communication skills girls and ladies, regular boring talk, she said this, I said that you might be on mood for the rant but trust me they have gone to deaf mode. They have this specialized on/off switch which they use very cleverly without notice, they switch off senses as per will, amazing isn’t, so take care while dealing with these smart beings😂😂. They don’t only play with smart devices, they have become one.
Indeed all about what they don’t like, now we can jump to what they love? Men not only have simple circuitry but also simple basic needs, I am not saying they haven’t evolved as per Darwin, they believe in little joys of life, simple thought process makes life easy, it’s their belief system deeply engraved, I assume it’s their default setting, unlike females who sometimes misunderstand this species and unknowingly overreact and often feel sorry for it later on.
Males always aspire for a company with listening skills, a sense of humor, straightforwardness, sympathetic and understanding attitude. Point to be noted that in the survey “physical appearance” comes in the last four most valued attributes. So now you can concentrate on the most valued ones rather than taking hours to get ready. I know there’s still doubt lingering in your mind, if he rates it in the last four, why sudden changes in head position on seeing a pretty girl passing by?
So one thing I can assure you, that they are just the admirers of god’s finest creation, you being one of them😂 & I am also sure that there was a time this happened with you too, he saw you the same way, he hasn’t changed a bit…I suspect did something change in you? Because he is behaving the same way 🤣🤣!!
And when they think about partners, along with other qualities, being hygienic, courteous, and with warmth and positive emotions are highly appreciated by them in their counterparts. It doesn’t matter if they keep things messy but they always love hygienic people, they always want a hygiene loving partner, so they can utilize the resources well for their well being, that’s why they make the best managers, they know how to get work done nicely.
Now following the heavy main course, here comes the magnificent “Dessert” with sweetness of love, a bit of tangy freedom & smoothness how men share effortlessly…..
I will like to detail each of them & I assume we all agree that nothing can be a more crispy and tangy topic than what love means to males. These super silent, least expressive individuals, blessed with delayed reactions and forgotten actions seem so mysterious when it comes to love and expressions associated with it.
So to be loud and clear data suggests 80.5 % of males believe that love is indeed beautiful and they understand it totally, but in real life are very poor in expressing all that they have inside them.
Ladies love fictitious roles played by actors of Hollywood & Bollywood who are giving false hopes to them, that this is how many of your dreams will behave …But alas ! you end up with guys still struggling to find their age-old socks, forget the rose for random dates. But above all, they all believe love makes life indeed amazing and it showers a positive influence on the daily routine. So you all now feel happy, that they feel the same but at the same time they are patients of chronic alexithymia*😂.
While accumulating data I was confused about male’s definition of freedom, how they perceive freedom in terms of relationship, when we talk about it we feel jumbled, what type of freedom? how much freedom is acceptable? Is he okay with it? Such questions pop out in our minds, to provide a better perspective here, data suggests almost 82.7 % of males feel that relationship provides them with freedom, that’s new…It means whatever restrictions you are putting on him, by far he is fine with it, so girls you can continue doing so and chances are he won’t complain.
It also means that ladies you are doing great by providing them with all freedom to enjoy the comforts of the house, like hopping on the sofa with a PlayStation, blocking the toilets for long as busy in pubG, candycrush or chess moves or some sword fighting, all night long counterstrike, after being tired of calling them so many times for meal or sleep, letting them eat and do whatever whenever they want in absolute solitude, you might be pissed but our heroes are happy, free & contented too that’s good news!😂😂 But still, one thing they all want in unison which they feel is missing most of the time is the freedom to speak even when they messed up! 😂😂
We don’t talk anymore…what was all that before…the famous Charlie Puth track, I guess everyone loved it. So this segment is about whether males share their things with you or they are hiding something or everything, which makes you go crazy. So about 59.6 % share everything with their partners, initially there is a lot but over a period of time it reduces, not because they aren’t interested but because they now know what things you like to hear about, and what might make you anxious, angry or upset. They take everything at face value, they are poor manipulators, so now you know why they always get caught when lying or hiding about something, because being blessed with simple neural wiring they don’t know how to manipulate, isn’t it a good thing, hell yeah!
So moving on to my last part ” The post meal sweetener” of this extravagant meal which will not only lighten up the post-effect of the whole psychology feast but freshens up body & mind…, which is about the idea of a holiday/ vacation.
Who doesn’t love vacation whether it’s mountains or its beaches, millennials are true wanderers. And if you are a vacation freak, love to explore? so this segment will help you to understand, what men basically love about vacation. Any guesses? I guess you all will think it’s an adventure, but trust me this will surprise you as well.
Gentlemen love a relaxing, laid-back vacation with relaxing surprises, almost 69.5% always want a relaxed mood holiday, only 13% love adventures, and 17% want both of them. It simply suggests how much these species are obsessed with relaxation, after procrastination, having laid back days at home with their tech, they still look forward to the same, How interesting is that to just relax…relax and then relax again.
Females might be suffering from a variety of obsessive-compulsive disorders but I guess all males have only one common OCD that is Obsessive-compulsive disorder for relaxing. I don’t know biologists say men came from a monkey,( I mean both men and women came) 🤪, but I will like to ask them, why then men just match so much with the lazy panda on a branch? Oh! Darwin was a male, did he forget some species in between, because of a beautiful creation who walked past him at that moment, goodness he really messed it up, coming from a monkey behaving like a panda! Wow!!🤣🤣
After whole data and banter, I certainly believe that men are indeed magnificent creations, the simplicity is so profound in them, which is literally mesmerizing, this species just believe in living joyfully, happiness is only what they mostly aspire around them. They repel complexities strongly, the idea of life incorporates unlimited fun and relaxation. Seeing their dear ones happy makes them content and relaxed.
I also admit that however perfect they are with all these, there are still minor loose bolts here & there, for which women were sent with spanners ;)!
*Alexithymia: (derived from Greek) Means having no words for emotions.
From the DummyWriter:
The most important thing in the world is symbiosis, that is living in harmony, but with social media, online dating, you can’t predict what one wants to convey, say or mean. So to make that easy I decided to do an actual real time survey about that one species who is underrated because of their extreme famous silence & sudden explosion of feminism.
I would like to thank Smriti & Sagar for extending help in creation of survey forms, and getting the data in hand, Sagar being a grammar nazi took the whole article to a new level and our Big Bro Mayank for immense help in editing the whole information & kind gesture of indeed a friend in need Ravi who helped me deducing the data correctly by his all time great mathematical skills !!
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18 thoughts on “Decoding Male Psychology”
That’s something quite interesting to know ??????
Very well written ????
Thank you so much ! ?
Excellent. Very apt and so well written. Will be eagerly waiting for your next article.
Thank you so much Sir !! This means alot, I appreciate your kind words!! ??
Excellent decoding of aliens from Mars. Men doesn’t like household work bcoz they feel it’s not value adding, that’s truth. Even in front of partners they can’t help gazing at someone else’s partner? but yes they don’t compromise on quality. Heads only turn if there’s a better one. Yup they do love freedom to be left alone for some time to do what they love to like watching cricket. Kudos to the writer….my bestest friend….Bravo…..
Haha, I hope everyone find something relatable ? Thank you so much, your words really means alot !! your bar graph were of great help indeed.??
Very well decoded . Male psychology nicely interpreted. I respect author’s broad perspective in maintaining harmony between the two beautiful souls .
Thank you so much for all kindness and beautiful comments, I appreciate it.??
Excellent piece of work!! Very interesting and beautifully written ?? No wonder they might be the descendants of PANDA??
Thank you so much !! Your words means alot…Much love to my favourite person❤️❤️…I think we all agree to that Panda section?
Writer has disentangled the hidden traits of both the species in very authentic manner with fact and figures. Generally every opposite species are curious to know about each other’s psyche. This research is really commendable as it is based on the compilation of scientific data for which writer has put great effort to unravel the mysteries of male and female psyche. Kudos to writer for this nice piece of work.
Thank you so much uncle for such amazing words, all kind people like you contributed to this data and I somehow managed to present it with the same grace you all hold. It really means alot !!
Very well written article, I can relate to it 🙂 Also, the hard work behind collecting all the data is commendable…. This ‘Panda’ is feeling lazy to type more words now 😉
Hahaha….I can understand the laziness now?… Thank you so much Big B, without your guidance, it wouldn’t be possible ? !!!
Gr8 article, You have put Sigmund Freud to shame by aptly decoding male psychology. Now we have the answer to the question “tum aisa kyon ho” Now I’m proud to be a procrastinator because it’s my trait.Eagerly looking for your next brain storming article.
Thank you so very much for such a big comparison Sir & all the kindness…I am totally overwhelmed. Indeed I feel great that I helped this mysterious being to know himself better and opposite gender to know you better ?? !!
Male psychology in the course of a five course meal!! I loved savouring it. Looking forward to a seven course meal for female psychology; I can not understand why they hammer the men to change their habits and style and later on complain “aap bahut badal gaye ho”.
Thank you so much uncle, so overwhelmed with your kind comments. I will try to accomplish the request!! ?? I think females have illusion of being a goldsmith, who have the abilities to make diamond shine more??
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